Confused Chinese Goes to Wine Store

Yixin and Hai graciously invited our friend Dave and me over for Dinner and Wii after we saw Hai's photo exhibition.

While Hai and Yixin were cooking, Dave and I offered to go get some wine.

"So, hai, what is the wine that you got last time? It is so good and exactly what I liked." I asked.

I tried to remember the name and it did not register.

Hai tried to remember as well, we Chinese are generally not good with English names, not to say "Frenchy" ones for Wine.

"It is probably French, yellow label, with a goat on it, priced at $9.85, and it is on the left side once you walk into the store. "

That is Claritin clear. We walked toward the liquor store on 79th and Broadway. It is said to be cheaper there than the one on 72 St, and closer too.

I could never figure out who owned that liquor store, at any given point, I have seen Indian, African, South Korean, Chinese people working in that store, all with a look of large dosage of pride.

Kinda of miss my old wine store under my old building on 55 street, a Chinese guy married into a Korean wife (very pretty) and her father's wine business, I am sure.

So we walked in the store with a secret mission. We turned left as soon as we got in, avoiding eye contact with anyone working there, since I could not see myself ask for a wine, not when I can find it myself, especially we are so smart.

I think people in general, especially people who think they have an exquisite taste, want to behave like they know exactly what they are getting in a wine store, with authority. If they ever look contemplative, it is because they are considering venturing out of their usual choice and vary by a very subtle degree to show off their complexity.

I suffer from the same sentiment or bourgeois vanity but also know that I could never remember those names. I have to rely on my visual memory. But it is when we are pretentious that we suffer the most.

We got into work with a little hierarchy in mind: French, price, label and presence of a goat.

When we find nothing promising in the section of French red wines, we found our selves begin to mix up the hierarchy a little--it is very easy for people to lose their convictions.

Try this: Goat, Price, Label and French.

Or, how about lose the French, just Goat, Price, and yellow label. None is found.

We were soon a bit desperate.

We have already been all over the store, looking for Goat and $9.85 among all the wines from all the countries that can possibly produce them.

Ok, just a goat, any goat.

"Here is a crazy red goat, but he looks too crazy". We shook our heads. Dave put that Australian bottle down. It can't be.

So Dave and I regrouped briefly for next step.

"I saw goats, and a monkey. I saw $9.85. I saw lot of French wines. I saw lot of yellow labels. But one with that combination, no." Dave whispered.

It is not because Dave and I are confused Chinese. I am. Dave is second generation Korean, smart IT guru with culture, and an American, so is his girlfriend Robin who is currently in London, studying Journalism.

So there is no other choice but for me to take the extreme measure. When I was taking a deep breath to muster enough courage, a guy who worked there, I could not tell his origin at all, had enough of our agony and Senfield situation.

He came up and said, "can I help you guys".

I cleared my throat, "yes, I love this bottle of wine my friend got from here. I don't remember the name, but I think it is French, with a yellow label, a goat on it and priced under $10."

"Yes, it is very popular." he is very excited, "But it is not French, it is South African! The name does looks very French though. Many people thought it French. But right now I am out of it."

"However, there are two other South African wine that I can suggest to you, they are very similar taste."

That is how I found my favorite South African wine: Indaba Pinotage 2005.

For one thing, Indaba is such a easy name to remember, like the African names I know, short, rhythmic.

And I know one of these days, I will go back to the store and save all the misery of self searching and ask, so is the South African bottle with a yellow label and a goat on it priced at $9.85 back in stock?

Sometimes, go straight to the point is more important than style, but only sometimes. And to think about it, I kinda of like that.

What Is Google Up To

They have played as the know-all brothers long enough in our lives.

Their email was our entry pass into the digital era, when getting invited to gmail was a big deal and seal of approval of the savvy.

They are an advertising giant who makes money with such ease and sense of deserve that we converntional adervisting people look like idiots when we make our tiny, indignity-inducing, soul-exchanging bucks to feed ourselves.

Their stock price is in hundreds thus, unaffordable to majority of people like you and me, while their close competitor's is close to single digit.

Now, their CEO is the economic advisor to the beloved president elect.

And they meanwhile remember to make sure that we don't drunk email, at least those who are really not good at math, especially at 2 in the morning, so end of day, the Asian crazy chicks like me Can still email when drunk.

"What do you think the Google Earth is for"? My friend asked, assuming certain amout of knowing advantage. "Stalking someone online and saw his stree views in that city that he moved to...", "that, but also, it is for advertising. You will see the billboard or whatever else they put there".

You mean, they will use planet earth as their drawing board. Yes. But I love Google earth I do.

And it looks great on the new G-1 phone too, so each mobile becomes that moving billboard of Google adversing. Smart. Yes, the new phone with open source platform (like the first guy's hair) where you can do everything on, well, not everything,but close.

And now, as of today, I found they did scan books, enables us to seach by the text within the scanned books(good for research with books that nobody reads anymore), and grant each of us a little library. I waste no time in putting my current read into my little library with newly loved Bowles, Malraux and Green. Google knows and probably want to control what we think.

And they have your web history through some complicted API application, approximate to the minute and seconds of the day when you did so and so through google search, so you have to be faced up with the sad truth that you little world is consisted of a handful of queries from your obessevie mind and subsequent URL destinations.

So now, finally, not only our secrets, but our souls are exposed, to the naked eyes of faceless googlers.

And then our health, they are projecting Flu outbreaks using the search data. Imagine a dictatorship got hold of these data. We will be living in 1984.

I am sending my resume to Google, since I am currently unemployed, fresh from my trip, eager for a new start but bored to tears with the outlook of going back to a or the monster ad agency again, let Google take me.

The G, the one that have all our dark secrets (as in photos, draft emails, sent emails, blog post, photos, books, web history), now they can have my brains and body and soul and my time walking on this earth.

I think when we die one day, our future generations will refer to this time as, you know when the G rules them all.

That is the one Ring.

Just as I thought that thank goodness that Google is not in the fashion industry, I found this.

Run for help!

You know what Google will do next, is making babies.

One day some button will suddenly show up in Google account that says: G Factory. "Click to claim your google babies. It is creatd based on your Google DNA and that of your past, lost, potential, sceret loves, which Google identified through your drunk emailing, monologue, crazy search word combination and frequented Google earth addresses.

You can create a privacy profile for you baby(ies) and either the public or only your friends circle can view him or her. You can opt out of this baby (ies) if you are emotionally drained and in no capacity to love, you can always erase the google baby profile from your account and drop the baby back at your nearest google baby center, which is open 24 7."

You wait. They are coming.

Remember Cultured Virtue

All inspired Asian kids, human, or parents should read this article that is so funny....

Dear Michael Chang, You ruined my tennis career. Thanks for nothing.

I admit I am probably inspired by Chang De Pei,

determined counterpunchers, tireless tongue-lolling retrievers who compensated for our lack of physical gifts by outlasting our opponents because we couldn't outplay them,

only on a different court.

No, They Are Real

In the Safeway check out line, the young cash register guy of this lovely American city was very warm to me.

How are you doing tonight?

Fine. How about you.

You know, I wish I can go home asap. He sighed, in the mood for small talk.

Then he began to ring things up--I have not got that many stuff:

Two peaches, a small box of melon fruits (obviously it seems I am eating healthy and soft), and

FOUR boxes of Efferdent (anti-bacterial dentrue cleansers).

He suddenly became very quiet and he was not smiling any more. I was surprised at first and then I got it.

When he passed me the changes, I made an effort to smile broadly at him, over exposing my "fake" teenth.

He blushed and avoided my eye contact. I think I am a bad person sometime.

Carrying my bags and walking out of the store, I can't stop laughing sliently to myself.

The Denture cleanser is for my father and his friends back in China. They love it, these reliable American products that address your each and every small needs so very well.

And someone once told me I had a great smile, so there. I hope the cash register guy won't have bad dreams tonight for the sake of that.

How I feel about the City on the North

If you can guess what is that little black spot under the sun track, I will give you a prize.

After looking at the wrong spots and guessed things like: trees without enough sunlight, street lamps, people, albatrass finally accpeted for what it is.

He then suggested the invert color, it really works well-- the very bright city above, and the very dark city, below.

First Encounter with Photoshop

An artist is born, from pain and escstasy.

To Visit My Country, You Need to Get Up Early and Wait II

Today, I arrived at the Consulate General at 7:45 am. I brought my breakfast with me. Line was already long, but I was sure I was in the 30s. People were camping there with beach chairs and pillows. I asked several people to make sure everyone was there for visa. It looked like the line for opening of Star War Movies.

This reminded me of memories back in China when we waited around train station over night to buy tickets going home every Winter break. But this is prime location on Park avenue of New York. It somehow amused me.

I asked several random people in the line to make sure everyone was there for visa. Then I stood at the end of the line, again after an Indian guy. I began to enjoy my breakfast of Toasted bagel with scallion cheese and tomato as well as a hot cup of coffee. I would be very happy with the fact that I ate my breakfast later on. I listed to my IPod for some time. Around 20 more people were behind me around 9:00 am. Two of them I know from last Thursday, the two American girls.

Then suddenly I heard talking from top of my head. A security guard sticked his head out of a window and said something in Italian. People began to talk back to him and the chatty American girl shouted: this is not the visa line. And a whole group of people just run to the front of the line. There were indeed people in the front who have come for passport not visa. So after the dust was settled, 3 or 4 people that were behind me are now in front of me including the two American girls.

I was amazed and angry. I looked into the eyes of the Chatty girl and said: you should go back. You are behind me.
She tried to defend herself: "He confused us. This is the visa line. "
"Well, I am in the visa line. You can not just run to the front of me like that. Please go back"
She is a nice girl. She was ready to move. Then she said: "But there are several other people also".
"They should all go back."I suddenly spoke out to the front of the line" Let's be descent and honest here. Please go back to your original positions". I was usually not so outspoken but I was angry and I would not allow myself to not get in today for this absurd reason.

I decided not to be the silent Asian.

People went back to where they were. Order was restored. The rediculous Italian guard was no where to be seen. Trouble maker.

Door was open and lines were getting short. I was getting closer and closer to the door.
I was finally IN by 9:30. The security guard recognized me and gave me a barely noticeable nod. I walked in with dignity of a two time rejecters and looked at him with no smile (it was not his fault even). He looked away, a little uneasy. He was a nice looking and young man.

Once we were in, the same guy went in to a small room and begin scanning our passport and application form and assigning each of us a yellow slip with number. So he was multi-tasking. I felt little bad for a young man doing this job day in and day out. He was not that rude. It was our agitation and refusal to get up early and wait in the line that has caused much of the tension and resistance.

I got number 30. After bag checking, we went in to the waiting room. It was not that large. It holds just about around 50 people if each still want to have a breathable room. There are 5 rows of seats. I did not get a seat at first. But soon after a woman got up to the interviewing window, I grabbed the seat and made it my territory for the rest of the time. No one was going to take it away from me. I guarded with a invisible gun.

There was a screen in the front of the room, shielding the two interview window that are taking cases. So that is the reason why they take only 45 cases. Half of the staff was obviously on vacation.

Time check: 10:00. I settled in and began to check my blackberry and wrote e-mails. This was a working day for me. I felt guilty. 5 E-mails later, the indicator light still shows a number 2. That was 20 minutes already. I heard the rumor earlier in the line that it took them 1 hour to process 3 cases. I felt the scary reality was becoming a truth.

I got distracted from time to time to listen to what was going on in the interviews. People spoken broken Italian or broken English. Reservations were asked and questioned. Phone called are being made on the spot in front of the window. And the consular will wait while the phone call was made to Italy. People running in and out to make photo copies. Voice raised and voice lowed. Thank you being offered and no hard feelings. Typical visa interview but actually more human because it was so inefficient and casual.

I can not imagine an American consular spending 10 minutes explaining to someone why she does not need a visa. But it was happening here.

It was slow but it was slowly moving. Maybe because I was in and was sitting, so I don't feel that bad. People waiting were also trying to improve the quality of life during this time. The chatty American buy sat beside me and begin to change her Cell Phone calling plan. Indian mother was feeding her baby. One priest and two monks were standing on the side room silently like sculpture. Are they going to Vatican?

I began to scan each faces to try to imagine some stories so that I don't feel as bored. My I Pod run out of battery around 11:10 am. I can't concentrate on my book either. Influx of working e-mails slowed down. I was staring at the light indicating numbers and thinking of my life and think that life could be segmented into such a short stream of plans and goals. For now, I only want to get my visa. I don't think about career plan, meaning of life and what make me happy. To get out of here with a visa and go back to office to make my meeting will make me happy now.

At 11:45, the number was 19. More than half. I am closer.
At 12:30, the number was 24. It suddenly get faster.
At 1:05, the number was 30. I went up to the window.

An Mid-aged woman with blue outfit and large blue pearl necklaces was smiling at me. I smiled back and gave her my folder. As she turned over the pages, I read it out loud for her:
Employment letter, copy of my passport, visa back to US, bank letter, bank Statement for last three months, latest three pay checks, hotel reservation Rome (you also got it via fax too), airline ticket, hotel reservation porsitano, insurance proof...I am a veteran visa applicant and it was perfect.

She indifferently scan through all these and then asked me: do you have copies for these bank statements and pay checks, we are not returning them. I was quickly thinking whether I need them or not. I hate the fact to run out of here and to make copies. Who knows what is happening. Can I get in once I am out. I said generously: "Keep them. Keep them all". Now if they want to know how I lived my life in the last 3 months, they can find them all.

She walked as indifferently to the fax machine and looked through a pile of fax. Miraculously she found something and added to my folder. She began to type in something in the computer and gave me a letter: come back here next Monday 2-3 and you visa will be ready.

The whole process took 5 minutes. I must be the model applicants. I must have done something right. My visa was good from Aug 24 to Sep 4. Not a long window but I would not complain. I know all the rest of applicants must be loving me for taking up such little time.

I walked out, folder empty. I jumped into a cab to make it back to the office around 1:30, 6 hours after I started standing in that line.

Once I was in, the admin handed me a letter from my immigration lawyer. It said: In order to file adjustment of status for your green card, here are the document you need to provide by Sep 1:

-Bank Statement for last 3 months
-Latest three pay stubs
.....

I was thinking of the folder I left in the consulate. If only I got this letter sooner I could have kept them. But I am not going back there. I am not waiting in line to get my documents back. Even they have been nice people. That would have been too much of a stretch.

Let's deal with one thing a day. Today, I got my visa to go to Rome.

To visit my country, you need to get up early and wait

For the last two mornings in the row, I went to Italy Consulate General on 69 Street and Park Avenue, in order to obtain a tourist visa for my trip.

Yesterday morning, I was having an early meeting and waited for a fax to come through. Then I was on the wrong address. I did not get to the side door on 69 Street until 11:00 am.

The visa office hour is officially 9:30 to 11:30. But the poster on the door and on the website both state that from July 19 and on, they only accept first 45 applicants per day. I was pushing my luck.

A security guard in his late 20s was standing there talking to another Asian looking woman. She was not getting in. The guard was not bad looking but has that typical weary and arrogant look of a guard--little power to abuse but not much and with a boredom disrupted only when he feels empowered by his guarding job and people's eye full of questions and plead.

I did not make it hard for him. I said I came for visa application. He said we had already had our 45 for the day. You have to come back tomorrow, at 7. He smiled at me but looked firm. I said thank you and left.

This morning, I cancelled my training at 8. Got up at 7:30, took a shower, put on my Thursday outfit which is suitable for drinks later and headed out around 8:30 with all of my application materials. I stopped at my favorite breakfast place on 55 and 8th Avenue and had a quick but pleasant breakfast.

I knew I was again pushing my luck. I should be more rush and nervous, like a typical applicant, like what I used to be.

Then I walked out and got into a taxi. It is not that far but I don't want to walk under the heat and looked all sweaty when I got there. Traffic was bad. I did not get there until 9:15am. There is a line of around 30 people already outside the side door. In front of me are an American girl and an Indian guy. I was the last one in the line.

I asked the India guy: how many people have been let in? He said: “some but not a lot. I don't think we are the 46 or 47th “(Touch the wood next time you say this). “Plus, he said, maybe they are only using 45 as a guideline to make people come early.”

The American girl smiled and said let's hope that is the case. She is getting a student visa. Usually an Americans don't need a visa to visit.

Sun was rising and it began to get hot. I stood with my back against the sun and kind of wished someone will stand behind me and give me some shadow. I hoped that I will not be send away again today. I opened the book I brought with me and started reading.

An Indian family soon stood behind me and the little boy they brought took a book and squatted in the shadow of a tree and started reading too. He was very concentrated. And I was looking at him. Half an hour passed, we moved forward a little. They let more people in in 2s and 3s. Our hope was high.

A chatty American girl joined the end of line and she said she had been here two times already for lack of documentation. At least it is good to know they treat everyone as bad.

Around 10:00 am, after standing in the sun for 1 hour, I am 2 feet and 2 people away from the black hard wood door. We were waiting for the door to open again and it would be our turn to enter the sacred place and ask for a permission to spend our money and precious time in their beautiful country.

I began to fantasize cool waiting rooms in both style and temperature, high ceilings like the church in Italy, and maybe paintings, fake ones by the renaissance masters. The door finally opened. The good looking guard showed his face and asked: who is the next one in line?" The American girl was. He let her in and said to the rest of us, which was 5 of us in total under the Sun, not Tuscany sun, but just as hot, "we are done for today. We got our 45 applicants".

I stared into his eyes and asked “Please. Can you take maybe a few more? There are only 5 of us.”
He recognized me “I told you to come at 7. When did you get here?”
“Nine.”
He shook his head, but in a half-joking way.
“You have to come back tomorrow then.”
“But it is closed tomorrow”.
“Oh. Sorry. You have to come back Monday morning”.
I looked at him saying nothing and trying to gain some sympathy just being cute and persistent.
Maybe there is indeed nothing he can do.
The chatty girl tried also to gain some advantage just by being a nice and sweet girl. The guard does not give in.
The five of us remain outside of the door. And the Indian guy and I were exactly the 46th and 47th.

I am the 47th on the line of visa application outside Italian Consulate in New York on the 11th day of August of the year 2005. I don't know whether that is of any significance to anyone. What I do know is that I need to go away and come back again to wait in line and to hope that I am a number less or equal of 45 some other time.

I don't know how they reach the number 45. It is only 10:00 am and the office hour is supposedly until 11:30.

I remembered the visa office of US in Montreal, visa office of Canada in New York, that of Singapore in New York. There will be long lines but there is not weird rule like this where large degree of uncertainty is built in. Maybe this is the Italian style. Maybe they want to make sure enough Fiesta time is set aside.

But then I also remember the long line of visa office of US in Beijing where the ultimate level of patience and tolerance of loss of dignity will be tested, not because of the US policy but because the attitude of the Chinese Guard, I know this is not as bad. Friday office is closed. It seems that they also have a summer Friday schedule. So I will come back on Monday morning. I will come at 8:00. I will make sure I am in the 20s or 30s, but I will be able to get in.

I heard the efficiency of the visa processing is even worse. I pray that the hotel reservations that are asked to fax in to the Consulate which bears my name and can be found whenever I am able to get in. I know questions will be asked and more materials will be needed and I may need to make phone calls right there to Italy to ask for things.

I will do all that just to see Rome for the first time, at this time of my life. I want to see the color of Mediterranean, tanned skin of people, and villas on the mountains off the Amalfi coast. I shall worry as a tourist about pick pockets and getting lost.

And I will keep on coming back until I get this visa to go.

And I find this Song relevant to how I feel right now about this waiting anxiety

Right Here lyrics
Staind

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

We Are Smart Asians II

I got warm feedback on the piece We Are Smart Asians. (Please read that one first before proceeding for you reading pleasure). I mean, really warm.

But here is a small catch. Baomin refrained from saying it, but my Biologist friend Song Dong politely pointed out that "Venus is Jin Xing (Gold Star) and Mercury is Shui Xing (Watery star). Mercury is "Water Silver". I still got it wrong and I told poor Song Yeon wrong information.

Venus is still the Goddess of Female but for a different reason that I always have believed. I gave it too much credit believing East and West are more similar than different. Or it is my wishful thinking that has deceived me.

I think I got the five element of Jin (Gold), Mu(Wood), Shui(Water), Huo(Fire), Tu(Soil) little mixed up with the analogy of Venus and Mars vs. that of Man and Woman.

Oh well, I am not changing my post so that you know a Smart Asian can be so stupidly wrong.

Maybe that is the whole point of writing these Articles. Perception and stereotype are dangerous.

I will refer to Babel fish more before I write any of such stuff anymore. And my 5 minors readers, don't expect to read any new posting for the next two weeks since I will spend sometime studying Astronomy for dummies, books that I used to think only Americans will read.

Or maybe I am just trying to be funny(I wish).

Dong in the end sent me the map of stars and told me how to find the Polar star. And he then said "I don't know much about these things. A girl I know is really good at it. She knows hundreds of them".

I replied dryly in MSN: "Must be some kind of girl".

Must be some kind of girl who knows stars.

I like that.

We Are Smart Asians

There were eight of us, sitting on the ferry back from Fire Island. We occupied two long benches on the top deck.

We were little drunk because of the sun and the sea water and wine for dinner. Ferry ride at late night was pleasant with the sea wind blowing and a star-lighted sky above. We were leaving the parties of Ocean Beach but I was happy for going home. I was silent and was enjoying the moment for myself for a while after a fun and long day.

Then some one point at the sky and sighed "So many stars...how beautiful!" We know not all of them are stars but that is the one word we first-generation-non-native speakers know as the most common in referring them verbally. That is what we call a limit of vocabulary.

It does not matter that there are five languages (Chinese Mandarin, Chinese Chao Zhou Dialect (it is literarily a different language), English, Malaysian and Korean) being utilized among the eight of us with each one commonly use at least two. Many claim two and half since some can speak but not read Chinese while others can read but not speak Chinese besides their own languages.

Everyone were now looking up and admiring the sky. "See", I pointed to a bright star in what I think is the north, "that must be the Polar star". I sounded exciting, if not smart.

"No, I think that is Venus". Song Yeong said firmly. I don't know exactly where Venus should be tonight according to the calendar and its track of traveling. There has to be some tool or system with numbers that help us locate her exact location relative to Earth. But she sounded authoritative and is called astrologist and is a lovely and calm Korean girl whom I find dearing, I did not dispute. I do not care what it is so long it is up there, shining.

"So which planet is the closest to Sun?" Some one asked. Suddenly we are not talking about the stars anymore but the Solar system and the orbiting planets. OK, as smart Asians who are good at astronomy that should be a no-brainer. We will list them all easy.

"I know Earth is the third one" I said, starting with the safest, behaving like the smart-Ass type of jerk I hate during meetings.

Many heads nodded, "But what is the first one?" I kept silent since I am not sure. I know Venus is closer to Sun than Earth but what is the other one? There are two which are closer. I can not remember the English or the Chinese name of the other one. Memory drew blank.

"What is the "Fire Star" called in English?" Someone asked in English.
"The Mars". Someone answered in English.
Huo Xing, or Fire Star, is how Mars' being called in Chinese.
"Yes, Huo Xing is the fourth one in distance" Someone said in Chinese.
(If you can visualize and audio-rize this conversation, you are as smart as Asian)

"The Watery Star", the Korean girl Song Yeong asked me: Is that Venus? "Yes", I said, "You know like that is why they say women are Venus while men are Mars. We are more “watery” than men (as in shedding more tears?)" (As it is being said in the Dream of Red Chamber, I took a mental note to myself). **

So what is the other star that is closer?

"I know it in Korean, Jing Sing." Song Yeong murmured. I am struggling to find a piece of data from my knowledge base based on this clue. After 2 minutes, I was all smiles. "Yes, you mean, Jin Xing, the Gold Star". "Yeh, yeh, the Gold one, Jin....Sing...." Song Yeong was excited too, speaking English and mix of Korean Chinese. We were all overjoyed. Although whether it is Venus or Gold star that is closer is yet to be determined. **

During all this time, the talkative, vivacious and smart investment banker girl was all excited and was racing to identify the rest of the 4 or 5 stars, or no, planets. "Before we order them, let's at least name all of them". Everyone seems to be on board with this strategy.

"Wood Star after the Fire Star". Both me and Song Yeong confidently stated. "And that is Jupiter". Chih the tall and funny guy confirmed the English name.

"And what about the Soil Star"? Several of us including me asked loudly and simultaneously in Chinese. I was English major for undergraduate. The only comfort I could possibly get is if I know Shakespeare better than English names of the planets. Since I don't feel comforted, in reality it means that I do not know much on either subject. Shame on me!

"Saturn". The pretty Shin Ying calmly suggested. OK. Doing well! So what are the stars after the Soil One which is the one with the beautiful ring.

"Heaven..." Song Yeong again demonstrated she is called astrologist for a reason. "Yes, I know what you mean." I semi cut her short and said loudly and proudly in Chinese" These three stars are Tian Wang Xing, Hai Wang Xing, Ming Wang Xing. (They meant Heaven King Star, Sea King Star, Underworld King Star, in Chinese).

Yes, it is true. Everyone agreed but there was silence and hint of embarrassment. Nobody seemed satisfied with my answer. It suddenly came to me that we were not only striving to order and name the planets in the solar system. We had to name them in English. The reasons are simple: English is the one language shared by us all, including the non-native nature of it. And we are on a ferry traveling between two spots of the greatest English speaking city in the world and we feel obligated subconsciously.

So the tasks are really (not feasible in that order during execution):
-Identify all planets in Solar System in any languages
-To match correct English name for the stars we remember in Chinese or Korean if not in English
-To correctly set the order of planets once identified according to their orbiting distance to the Sun in any languages at first but ultimately in English

The challenges are:
-Not everyone knows all the names of the planets in all languages (For example, I forgot about the name of Gold Star in English)
-Everyone knows the name of some of the planets in multiple languages
-The fact that names of some of the planets but not all are remembered by multiple people in multiple languages caused confusion and disagreement in terms of the order of the planets in any single language including English.

This now sounds like a sophisticated mathematical logic problem to me.

Investment banker girl jumped in, after discussing with the couple who sat beside her. The guy was wearing a huge jade stone and obviously knows something about rocks and stones and maybe logically planets also.

"The English name for the last two stars are Pluto and Neptune. And the name Pluto, as the name of the dog in Mickey Mouse movie”.

There were cheers. Catching on the excitement, the same guy instantly offered another precious name: Uranus.

Here is the initial trial of the order by someone after a good 20 minutes of discussion and excitement: Venus, Uranus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto.

Not only we were missing one in total and after Saturn we know there are three more planets. In the above order we have only two.

“Maybe actually Uranus should go after Saturn”. Stone-wearing guy finally suggested. But we were still missing one. We know it is the gold star that is missing a name in English. And we still don't know whether the Gold star is closer or Venus.

Ferry docked. We were heading to the train station. We could not leave the question hang and let it go down history as eight smart Asians not being able to figure out the order of nine planets.

Investment banker girl decided to consult her blackberry. I almost pulled mine too but stopped realizing hers is colored and a much newer model. Yes, Vanity is the root of all evil.

“Answer is here, it is MERCURY and it is the closest!!!!”

But of course, at least we should remember the Ford car model if not the planet. But again most of us don't drive and I never own an American car. We headed to the train station satisfied, tired and quiet.

Among the eight of us, at least 7 are professionals, 1 investment banker, 2 architect, 1 Marketing Analytic Director(that would be me) and 1 engineer, 1 CPA, 1 Graphic Designer.

It took us a good 25 minutes and a search via blackberry to figure this one out.

We know we used to know them all. Maybe learning more languages have confused us. We think we are smart and people perceived us to be smart. But that does not mean we know everything as a fact.

Maybe by living here, we are more like Americans. They know the statistics of seasonal football or baseball but they don't know geography or astronomy as well as we do. Or is that so.

Perception goes that Asian must be smart like we think Jewish must be smart because of the ratio of Nobel prize winners among them. In reality, not every Asian is perceived to be smart and not everyone is as smart as his or her parents believe he or she is. Let's not keep our superior feeling of being expert in Astronomy when naming the orbiting distance of the nine planets proves to be a challenge.

Next time let's admit we don't know everything in this language or about this country and live peacefully with it. And it is OK to be an Asian that does not know much about numbers or astronomy or Algebra. Life is more than that and I would rather be a happy Asian than just a smart one or perceived to be a smart one.

Notes from author: I want to write a funny story, thus the dramatization of the situation. But it was really a lovely night and lovely companies. I enjoyed the company of people who could be amazed by stars and can over-joy like children when finally the problems were solved.

Actually another game was played during the train ride by us. When you pull any 4 poke cards, use math formula you can always get 24. Now that is smart game played by smart people and people who prefer not to talk much.

I like that.

** Refer to We Are Smart Asians II. for more infomration.

Unpeging--A lyric of a song

My lean table and chair were delivered today
Bicycle has been stored
I have my kitchen back and
I can write sitting on a chair instead of my bed
If you have been to my apartment
You know it is not as bad
But now it is so much better
And China has un-pegged its currency from the dollars
Now we will float freely
Now we will be taking more risks but will be more true to the truth
Like our bills with the smile of Chairman Mao and others

I know my mother shall be soaking for the less value
of the Green bills I sent her
The one thing that once seems it will never devalue
We shall know it by now
Value of everything is relative
But that of ourselves not attaching to any destiny or route
May hold up well if we can stand there a little longer
on our own
Now we will float freely
Now we will be taking more risks but will be more true to the truth

Now we will float freely
Now we will be taking more risks but will be more true to the truth
Like our bills with the smile of Chairman Mao and others