Thursday, November 13, 2008

What Is Google Up To

They have played as the know-all brothers long enough in our lives.

Their email was our entry pass into the digital era, when getting invited to gmail was a big deal and seal of approval of the savvy.

They are an advertising giant who makes money with such ease and sense of deserve that we converntional adervisting people look like idiots when we make our tiny, indignity-inducing, soul-exchanging bucks to feed ourselves.

Their stock price is in hundreds thus, unaffordable to majority of people like you and me, while their close competitor's is close to single digit.

Now, their CEO is the economic advisor to the beloved president elect.

And they meanwhile remember to make sure that we don't drunk email, at least those who are really not good at math, especially at 2 in the morning, so end of day, the Asian crazy chicks like me Can still email when drunk.

"What do you think the Google Earth is for"? My friend asked, assuming certain amout of knowing advantage. "Stalking someone online and saw his stree views in that city that he moved to...", "that, but also, it is for advertising. You will see the billboard or whatever else they put there".

You mean, they will use planet earth as their drawing board. Yes. But I love Google earth I do.

And it looks great on the new G-1 phone too, so each mobile becomes that moving billboard of Google adversing. Smart. Yes, the new phone with open source platform (like the first guy's hair) where you can do everything on, well, not everything,but close.

And now, as of today, I found they did scan books, enables us to seach by the text within the scanned books(good for research with books that nobody reads anymore), and grant each of us a little library. I waste no time in putting my current read into my little library with newly loved Bowles, Malraux and Green. Google knows and probably want to control what we think.
And they have your web history through some complicted API application, approximate to the minute and seconds of the day when you did so and so through google search, so you have to be faced up with the sad truth that you little world is consisted of a handful of queries from your obessevie mind and subsequent URL destinations.

So now, finally, not only our secrets, but our souls are exposed, to the naked eyes of faceless googlers.

And then our health, they are projecting Flu outbreaks using the search data. Imagine a dictatorship got hold of these data. We will be living in 1984.

I am sending my resume to Google, since I am currently unemployed, fresh from my trip, eager for a new start but bored to tears with the outlook of going back to a or the monster ad agency again, let Google take me.

The G, the one that have all our dark secrets (as in photos, draft emails, sent emails, blog post, photos, books, web history), now they can have my brains and body and soul and my time walking on this earth.

I think when we die one day, our future generations will refer to this time as, you know when the G rules them all.

That is the one Ring.

Just as I thought that thank goodness that Google is not in the fashion industry, I found this.

Run for help!

You know what Google will do next, is making babies.

One day some button will suddenly show up in Google account that says: G Factory. "Click to claim your google babies. It is creatd based on your Google DNA and that of your past, lost, potential, sceret loves, which Google identified through your drunk emailing, monologue, crazy search word combination and frequented Google earth addresses.

You can create a privacy profile for you baby(ies) and either the public or only your friends circle can view him or her. You can opt out of this baby (ies) if you are emotionally drained and in no capacity to love, you can always erase the google baby profile from your account and drop the baby back at your nearest google baby center, which is open 24 7."
You wait. They are coming.

1 comment:

douzilinda said...

“The G, the one that ...”
“You know what Google will do next, is making babies.”
我喜欢Google Earth,但却很奇怪害怕那画面,三维的,以及exposed.
Let Google take you.